Free Fall

My deep slumber was broken by the vibrations of my cell phone. I opened my eyes to look at the mess of the books scattered all around the table. As I yawned lazily, I realized something was damned wrong. I picked up my chemistry text book and scanned each and every corner of the table.

“Searching something?” My mom asked in such a friendly tone that for a moment even the enemy would have wondered on which side he was.

Hell I’m busted.

“Umm...nothing.” I was in a deep shit.

“So, is this what you were studying all night?” My mom brought out my original copy of The Partner by John Grisham.

“I found it below your Chemistry text book.”   I snatched my cell phone instinctively, switched it off and placed it in my pocket. I always believe that precaution is better than cure. I knew the next thing mom would pounce on would be my cell phone, that is if the things grew worse.

“No mommy, it was just on the table, I was studying Chemistr-”

“Just on the table...?! And coincidently it was below your text book, that too wide open...?” Oh! That was a perfect hit; I was completely vulnerable and outwitted. Now even the devil couldn’t save me, let alone the God.

“Actually-”

“SHUT UP! It’s Preliminary examination. Board exams are just a month away. You are not even a bit serious, are you?” Mom erupted like volcano. My bro, my saviour wasn’t home. I was glad that Dad had left for office (it seemed the only bright side of the situation). And now, as always I had to take the matter in my own hands to save my ass from being whipped pretty badly. It would be whipped; no doubt about it but you can always control the collateral damage.

“I’m serious-”

“Indeed you are, so much that you aren’t still sure about your career.”

“Umm-”

 “And this, what the hell is this?” Mom screamed again, showcasing the novel.

An outstanding thriller, I wanted to tell her but I chose to act wisely by staying quiet, given the pickle I was in.

“We need to discuss about this tonight when your dad’s home,” And with that mom left the room, flaring with anger.

I regretted not reading that novel completely last night; at least there wouldn’t be this dilemma of not knowing the storyline further.  And however, this thing wasn’t over with just a trailer; there would be a full throttle movie tonight. I just hoped that tonight’s movie won’t be as thrilling as last night’s reading.

The moment I switched on my cell phone, text messages pooped in like popcorns.

Patik 10:09am -

‘Are chu

Kidhar mar raha hai?

Ravi car leke aya hai! Jaldi niche aa.’

 I smiled and shut the chemistry text book. It seemed perfectly logical: What I didn’t do all year, how could I manage that in less than an hour’s time...

“Get in fucker.” Ravi shouted as he pulled up his silver swift desire in front of my building. The speakers were bursting with Honey Singh’s most famous song (I don’t think there’s a need to mention which one... ;)) and I could see its reaction as many heads were turning in our direction.  The rear seats were totally jammed but somehow I managed to fit in the space available.

“So how’s chem.?” I asked everyone as they stared at me like I had asked something totally alien.

“Is it Chem. today? 1 or 2?” the guy next to Ravi asked quickly.

Awesome! Everyone in the car only had hot chicks at Kelkar College on their mind, including me of course but I felt good, at least I knew what paper it was that day.

“And Pratik...? Where’s he?”

“Ab use kya dikki me bithau...?” Ravi blurted out in an irritated tone, “I’ve texted him that we are full. We’ll pick him up after couple of rounds. Now let’s roll.” And with that he shifted gears and kicked on to the accelerator as loud, abusive music attracted whole street audience....

  

 Those couple of rounds ended up into a half an hour bird watching session which in turn made us fifteen minutes late for the exam. I could already see Pratik murmuring curses to us as we neared our college.

“We are late morons!” Pratik shouted waving at us irritated as Ravi parked the car and we all poured out. He was waiting with two more friends who were late. That raised our count to eight and gave me some confidence. After all, screwing up with friends is fun.

I, Pratik, Ravi, Raj, Kunj, Sagar, Unmesh and Krishna; we all lined up in the corridor on the fifth floor, pumping our chests out in honour, as if it was a Nazi fire squad we all were about to face and die bravery. I checked my cell phone; it was 11: 20am, we were fucking twenty minutes late. I didn’t know about Unmesh and Krishna but I could bet the rest of us were totally shameless.

“So you clowns have shown the courtesy to show up for the examination,” the supervisor said calmly looking at us; “We are overwhelmed. As in you all are twenty minutes late; so I’m sure that it won’t be a great deal for you all to spend more thirty minutes standing here.” That definitive tone in the supervisor’s voice was enough to make anyone wet their pants. We were lucky this thing wasn’t going to the Principal’s office (actually there was a simple equation in here: If just one or two you would surely land up in the Principal’s office, so the strategy was to screw up in a big number. As we were eight there was a rare possibility that we would end up behind the enemy lines)

“Madam, actually we... I mean I was stuck up in the traffic.” Ravi blurted out hastily as it took few moments for all of us to understand it.

“Waise bhi tum log kya likhte ho hume pata hai beta.... So don’t worry, enjoy your time.” And with that the supervisor left us all in the corridor.

“So what now...?” I asked Pratik, Krishna and Ravi as others were touring the corridor and toilet.

“Practically we can manage another round at the Kelkar college, given we have these thirty minutes in hand.” Krishna added thoughtfully as we three just stared at him blankly. I can’t express in words how desperately I needed something to bang in his head.

After twenty minutes of punishment, which basically made no difference to us idiots, we were allowed to sit for the exam. The fun part in any examination is said to be in those last fifteen minutes. But believe me friends, if you are someone like me, who sits in the exam hall prepared with just one question than I give you my word that the whole two hours are sheer entertainment. The pokerfaced geeks, the worried expressions of the average ones and the peaceful calmness of useless creatures like us; it was a promising masala packed matinee show.

Preparation of chloroform: This was the only question I had prepared and my stars were so good that the question paper mostly had every question from Halogen Derivatives of Alkanes except this one. Man, this wasn’t fair at all! 8 from mcqs (Which depended on skilful navigation), 4 from chloroform and another 2 form sources around: This was what I called project 14, the minimum passing marks and my only target. Hell; it was totally foiled. I scratched my head and started to navigate for mcqs. The one behind me and the one ahead mostly depended on me and as I was totally blank, I hardly expected anything from them.

After fifteen minutes of struggling like a fish out of water I gave up because for the supervisor we eight were already like ducks on a sniper range. One mistake and we won’t have a second chance to think, so I started sketching ladies on the question paper; at least I was making some use of the borrowed pen. I looked at Raj who was on my left, leaving three rows in between. He too was busy sketching skyscrapers on the question paper, probably designing the next tallest marvel in the world. By now Pratik, who sat on the third bench in the row next to me, was on the cricket field, playing for India in his day dream. Ravi, he sat ahead of Pratik and it was clear what he would be wondering about in such a tense situation: bada Gold flake; after all she was his true love. I looked out of the window and allowed myself to drift into my own dreamland where I was signing books already....

“Rape ho gaya yar!” Pratik announced to everyone assembled at the bus stop with already fucked up faces.

“Chill out dude, we all are rape victims.” I added with a sad smile.

“What the Fuck are we all gonna do man?” Pratik asked looking at us all, completely frustrated.

“Probably another round at Kelkar or else a long drive at Pawai... Jaldi decide karo...” Ravi added quickly as I gave him a fiver, man that’s the spirit. That did the magic for the rest of us.

“You guys are hopeless.” Pratik smiled after all and even before we could decide, the rest of the fuckers were already rushing towards the car. Life is simple; you can’t be worrying sitting on dynamite. Whatever you do, everything has consequences but it’s fruitless to keep worrying after you have jumped off the cliff, after you have made a choice. We all were off the cliff now, just enjoying the free fall, no worries, no strings attached....