Free Fall
My deep slumber was broken by the vibrations
of my cell phone. I opened my eyes to look at the mess of the books scattered
all around the table. As I yawned lazily, I realized something was damned
wrong. I picked up my chemistry text book and scanned each and every corner of
the table.
“Searching something?” My mom asked in
such a friendly tone that for a moment even the enemy would have wondered on
which side he was.
Hell I’m busted.
“Umm...nothing.” I was in a deep shit.
“So, is this what you were studying all
night?” My mom brought out my original copy of The Partner by John Grisham.
“I found it below your Chemistry text
book.” I snatched my cell phone instinctively,
switched it off and placed it in my pocket. I always believe that precaution is
better than cure. I knew the next thing mom would pounce on would be my cell
phone, that is if the things grew worse.
“No mommy, it was just on the table, I
was studying Chemistr-”
“Just on the table...?! And coincidently
it was below your text book, that too wide open...?” Oh! That was a perfect hit;
I was completely vulnerable and outwitted. Now even the devil couldn’t save me,
let alone the God.
“Actually-”
“SHUT UP! It’s Preliminary examination.
Board exams are just a month away. You are not even a bit serious, are you?”
Mom erupted like volcano. My bro, my saviour wasn’t home. I was glad that Dad
had left for office (it seemed the only bright side of the situation). And now,
as always I had to take the matter in my own hands to save my ass from being whipped
pretty badly. It would be whipped; no doubt about it but you can always control
the collateral damage.
“I’m serious-”
“Indeed you are, so much that you
aren’t still sure about your career.”
“Umm-”
“And
this, what the hell is this?” Mom screamed again, showcasing the novel.
An outstanding thriller, I wanted to tell her but I chose to act
wisely by staying quiet, given the pickle I was in.
“We need to discuss about this tonight
when your dad’s home,” And with that mom left the room, flaring with anger.
I regretted not reading that novel
completely last night; at least there wouldn’t be this dilemma of not knowing
the storyline further. And however, this
thing wasn’t over with just a trailer; there would be a full throttle movie
tonight. I just hoped that tonight’s movie won’t be as thrilling as last
night’s reading.
The moment I switched on my cell phone,
text messages pooped in like popcorns.
Patik 10:09am -
‘Are chu
Kidhar mar raha hai?
Ravi car leke aya hai! Jaldi niche aa.’
I smiled and shut the chemistry text
book. It seemed perfectly logical: What I didn’t do all year, how could I
manage that in less than an hour’s time...
“Get in fucker.” Ravi shouted as he
pulled up his silver swift desire in front of my building. The speakers were
bursting with Honey Singh’s most famous song (I don’t think there’s a need to
mention which one... ;)) and I could see its reaction as many heads were
turning in our direction. The rear seats
were totally jammed but somehow I managed to fit in the space available.
“So how’s chem.?” I asked everyone as
they stared at me like I had asked something totally alien.
“Is it Chem. today? 1 or 2?” the guy
next to Ravi asked quickly.
Awesome! Everyone
in the car only had hot chicks at Kelkar College on their mind, including me of
course but I felt good, at least I knew what paper it was that day.
“And Pratik...? Where’s he?”
“Ab use kya dikki me bithau...?” Ravi blurted out in an irritated tone, “I’ve texted him that
we are full. We’ll pick him up after couple of rounds. Now let’s roll.” And
with that he shifted gears and kicked on to the accelerator as loud, abusive music
attracted whole street audience....
Those couple of rounds ended up into a
half an hour bird watching session which in turn made us fifteen minutes late
for the exam. I could already see Pratik murmuring curses to us as we neared
our college.
“We are late morons!” Pratik shouted
waving at us irritated as Ravi parked the car and we all poured out. He was waiting
with two more friends who were late. That raised our count to eight and gave me
some confidence. After all, screwing up with friends is fun.
I, Pratik, Ravi, Raj, Kunj, Sagar,
Unmesh and Krishna; we all lined up in the corridor on the fifth floor, pumping
our chests out in honour, as if it was a Nazi fire squad we all were about to
face and die bravery. I checked my cell phone; it was 11: 20am, we were fucking
twenty minutes late. I didn’t know about Unmesh and Krishna but I could bet the
rest of us were totally shameless.
“So you clowns have shown the courtesy
to show up for the examination,” the supervisor said calmly looking at us; “We are
overwhelmed. As in you all are twenty minutes late; so I’m sure that it won’t
be a great deal for you all to spend more thirty minutes standing here.” That
definitive tone in the supervisor’s voice was enough to make anyone wet their
pants. We were lucky this thing wasn’t going to the Principal’s office
(actually there was a simple equation in here: If just one or two you would
surely land up in the Principal’s office, so the strategy was to screw up in a
big number. As we were eight there was a rare possibility that we would end up
behind the enemy lines)
“Madam, actually we... I mean I was stuck
up in the traffic.” Ravi blurted out hastily as it took few moments for all of
us to understand it.
“Waise bhi tum log kya likhte ho hume pata hai beta.... So don’t worry, enjoy your time.” And
with that the supervisor left us all in the corridor.
“So what now...?” I asked Pratik,
Krishna and Ravi as others were touring the corridor and toilet.
“Practically we can manage another
round at the Kelkar college, given we have these thirty minutes in hand.”
Krishna added thoughtfully as we three just stared at him blankly. I can’t
express in words how desperately I needed something to bang in his head.
After twenty minutes of punishment,
which basically made no difference to us idiots, we were allowed to sit for the
exam. The fun part in any examination is said to be in those last fifteen
minutes. But believe me friends, if you are someone like me, who sits in the
exam hall prepared with just one question than I give you my word that the
whole two hours are sheer entertainment. The pokerfaced geeks, the worried
expressions of the average ones and the peaceful calmness of useless creatures
like us; it was a promising masala packed matinee show.
Preparation of chloroform: This was the only question I had prepared and my stars
were so good that the question paper mostly had every question from Halogen Derivatives of Alkanes except this one. Man, this wasn’t fair at all! 8 from mcqs
(Which depended on skilful navigation), 4 from chloroform and another 2 form
sources around: This was what I called project 14,
the minimum passing marks and my only target. Hell; it was totally foiled. I
scratched my head and started to navigate for mcqs. The one behind me and the
one ahead mostly depended on me and as I was totally blank, I hardly expected
anything from them.
After fifteen minutes of struggling
like a fish out of water I gave up because for the supervisor we eight were
already like ducks on a sniper range. One mistake and we won’t have a second
chance to think, so I started sketching ladies on the question paper; at least
I was making some use of the borrowed pen. I looked at Raj who was on my left,
leaving three rows in between. He too was busy sketching skyscrapers on the
question paper, probably designing the next tallest marvel in the world. By now
Pratik, who sat on the third bench in the row next to me, was on the cricket
field, playing for India in his day dream. Ravi, he sat ahead of Pratik and it
was clear what he would be wondering about in such a tense situation: bada Gold flake;
after all she was his true love. I looked out of the window and allowed myself
to drift into my own dreamland where I was signing books already....
“Rape ho gaya yar!”
Pratik announced to everyone assembled at the bus stop with already fucked up
faces.
“Chill out dude, we all are rape
victims.” I added with a sad smile.
“What the Fuck are we all gonna do
man?” Pratik asked looking at us all, completely frustrated.
“Probably another round at Kelkar or
else a long drive at Pawai... Jaldi
decide karo...” Ravi added quickly as I gave him
a fiver, man that’s the spirit. That did the magic for the rest of us.
“You guys are hopeless.” Pratik smiled
after all and even before we could decide, the rest of the fuckers were already
rushing towards the car. Life is simple; you can’t be worrying sitting on
dynamite. Whatever you do, everything has consequences but it’s fruitless to
keep worrying after you have jumped off the cliff, after you have made a
choice. We all were off the cliff now, just enjoying the free fall, no worries,
no strings attached....
